Working on some of my soaps, trying to get them made so that they can be packaged and sold. I am striving to be able to donate to the LAM Foundation/ Tuberous Sclerosis Association on behalf of my daughter, RIP Heather..
Please pray that I will make a product that others will find useful and pretty and they will sell enough to at least make back the money that I have put into it....That will make my day....
Closing for now so that I can get back to work..Bye-Bye everyone...Take care and be blessed

I haven't been on for a while as I have been trying to heal through work..It is helping me to keep moving forward. I have some days that I take 10 steps forward and their are other days that I take 10 steps back but I keep going either way...
I am now soaping. I am having a great time coming up with some of my soaps, ideas and ways of packaging them. I will add those when I get them finished making them all..
Must get ready to go to work soon so I am off of here with a smile and a peacefulness/calm that only comes through Christ..Thank you Lord for staying so close to me during this most tragic of times for me...

Getting ready to get into the shower and go to work. Looking forward to that..
I am going to start a rag rug sometime this week. Picked up a crochet hook yesterday that I needed and will try to post some pictures of the start of this project sometime this week....
Feeling better this week as now I am working outside the home so I have less time to feel sad and more time to  think about honoring my daughters memory....I hope that everyone has a nice day today and Happy Valentines Day to all

Another tear filled day today....Oh this week has been so long, filled with emotion and tears just flowing every time I turn around... Our hospice social worker came today and he is one of my favorite people and for the first time I just cried my eyes out the entire time that he was here. He cried with me.
I just miss her so much and more then anything in the world  I don't want my daughter to be forgotten..I want the world to know how precious she was and how she touched everyone that knew her. She was a rose in the mist of a world of thorns. She was that diamond in the ruff,  that shining light at the end of every tunnel. She was the very heart and soul of me, my heart and certainly my HERO

Having a very hard day today, tears flowing for some unknown reason....I am getting ready to go to a craft class in just a few and I am teaching this week...I thought today would be a better day to kind of sit to the back and veg but not this time...Just thinking that maybe its better for me not to veg today..Get busy, isn't that what they say when you sad, depressed of grieving...Well today that is what I am going to do...Put on my happy face for the world and move forward... I hope everyone has a wonderful day today

I am learning that I am now in the stages of Anger. I think what they say is that you go through different stages as you deal with personal tragedy no matter what that might be...I have surpassed everything else and I am now  dealing with the fact that everybody has gone home....Their lives are moving on, all the phone calls, text messaging has stopped, the how are ya doings today is gone and its life back to normal for most and yet my life has changed drastically and will never be the same...I still no longer have my daughter, my only child and life is not very fun to me anymore. Its full of anger, stress and grief, so much so at times that I cry so hard I don't feel like I can catch my breath...This heaviness comes over me and engulfs me like I am floating on air and yet so heavy at times that I feel like there is a rock holding me down under water...Its seems like a cruel joke and I keep waiting to wake up and my daughter will be in her bed sleeping peacefully.
I don't like this new normal. I wake up every morning and as I am turning on lights in the house waiting for the coffee pot to make just enough coffee for one cup I walk around lost, spinning around in different directions as I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing at that moment...Grief is a very interesting feeling as it means different things to every one. How we choose to deal with it or how we move on is the part of grief that gives us those awe moments in life...Those moments that nobody can even comprehend or fathom but us alone...We hunker up under these shells ( of life ) that we find to conceal us and protect us and keep us safe in this world we call home as the rest of civilization keeps moving forward, which by the way is what we also want to do....Just thinking out loud I guess, Its time to wake up, take my morning shower, clean house and put on my happy face so that when everyone sees me they have no clue what I am going through...Do they care anyway?

Another one of my creations with paper

This morning I took a long walk to refresh. It worked. I feel wonderful now and I am ready to make some soap for a customer and then work on some booties that I am making...I know that today will be a day like none other...

This morning I was getting ready to go out and run some errands, as I was standing in my daughters bathroom getting ready to leave I looked in the mirror for a very long time. I noticed my eyes looked droopy, my face a little more saggy, I felt my heart a little more heavy and I just felt more alone...I thought about how life feels to me now and about this new normal that I am facing...I thought to myself...I can do this! I took a deep breath and I wondered if I was just saying that out of desperation or if I really meant that...I smiled....
I have asked myself a million times since my daughter went to heaven what I can do to keep her alive in everyone's hearts that knew her...I think I have finally come to the conclusion that she wont be forgotten by those that loved her so how can I bring her spirit alive to those that didn't know her at all. It's talking about her that will do that and what she meant to me and those that knew her...She was a Hero in every sense of the word...She was also my Heart, my reason for being here, therefore making if so difficult to find out within what I am to do with myself now that she is gone....I am just trying to make it through one day at a time...

My day

Well, I have made it through another day, haven't crafted much today as I was so busy running around. I will be doing the same tomorrow but I am going to go to Joanns Fabrics so I can pick up a knitting loom and a couple of other things that I have wanted to get...It seems that every time I sit down to do something I am also missing something that I need....I hope to take care of that tomorrow...Well, Its time to finish up some booties that I am working on and will post a picture tomorrow when I get home after running around in the morning....Nite Nite everyone...

One of my paper quilling pictures

A little about me

I am just starting this blog and as I am not so sure where to go with this, so I will have to be honest and tell you that I am pretty sure it will be a work in progress. So, please be patient with me.
 About Me:
I am a mom who just lost my daughter and this blog will be on behalf of her.I am not a journalist, or a writer, or anyone professional, just a mom that spent my life loving and taking care of my precious and very sick daughter...
She went to be with the lord on September 29, 2011 RIP Heather Marie, forever 24....
I love to craft and am now crafting again so that I can do some fundraising for her disease Tuberous Sclerosis and LAM...I hope that you will join me along this journey of crafting to heal.....My heart hurts something terrible and my spirit is broken. This will be a journey to find myself again and learn what it is like to go on without her. I miss her so much...