Working on some of my soaps, trying to get them made so that they can be packaged and sold. I am striving to be able to donate to the LAM Foundation/ Tuberous Sclerosis Association on behalf of my daughter, RIP Heather..
Please pray that I will make a product that others will find useful and pretty and they will sell enough to at least make back the money that I have put into it....That will make my day....
Closing for now so that I can get back to work..Bye-Bye everyone...Take care and be blessed

I haven't been on for a while as I have been trying to heal through work..It is helping me to keep moving forward. I have some days that I take 10 steps forward and their are other days that I take 10 steps back but I keep going either way...
I am now soaping. I am having a great time coming up with some of my soaps, ideas and ways of packaging them. I will add those when I get them finished making them all..
Must get ready to go to work soon so I am off of here with a smile and a peacefulness/calm that only comes through Christ..Thank you Lord for staying so close to me during this most tragic of times for me...

Getting ready to get into the shower and go to work. Looking forward to that..
I am going to start a rag rug sometime this week. Picked up a crochet hook yesterday that I needed and will try to post some pictures of the start of this project sometime this week....
Feeling better this week as now I am working outside the home so I have less time to feel sad and more time to  think about honoring my daughters memory....I hope that everyone has a nice day today and Happy Valentines Day to all

Another tear filled day today....Oh this week has been so long, filled with emotion and tears just flowing every time I turn around... Our hospice social worker came today and he is one of my favorite people and for the first time I just cried my eyes out the entire time that he was here. He cried with me.
I just miss her so much and more then anything in the world  I don't want my daughter to be forgotten..I want the world to know how precious she was and how she touched everyone that knew her. She was a rose in the mist of a world of thorns. She was that diamond in the ruff,  that shining light at the end of every tunnel. She was the very heart and soul of me, my heart and certainly my HERO

Having a very hard day today, tears flowing for some unknown reason....I am getting ready to go to a craft class in just a few and I am teaching this week...I thought today would be a better day to kind of sit to the back and veg but not this time...Just thinking that maybe its better for me not to veg today..Get busy, isn't that what they say when you sad, depressed of grieving...Well today that is what I am going to do...Put on my happy face for the world and move forward... I hope everyone has a wonderful day today

I am learning that I am now in the stages of Anger. I think what they say is that you go through different stages as you deal with personal tragedy no matter what that might be...I have surpassed everything else and I am now  dealing with the fact that everybody has gone home....Their lives are moving on, all the phone calls, text messaging has stopped, the how are ya doings today is gone and its life back to normal for most and yet my life has changed drastically and will never be the same...I still no longer have my daughter, my only child and life is not very fun to me anymore. Its full of anger, stress and grief, so much so at times that I cry so hard I don't feel like I can catch my breath...This heaviness comes over me and engulfs me like I am floating on air and yet so heavy at times that I feel like there is a rock holding me down under water...Its seems like a cruel joke and I keep waiting to wake up and my daughter will be in her bed sleeping peacefully.
I don't like this new normal. I wake up every morning and as I am turning on lights in the house waiting for the coffee pot to make just enough coffee for one cup I walk around lost, spinning around in different directions as I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing at that moment...Grief is a very interesting feeling as it means different things to every one. How we choose to deal with it or how we move on is the part of grief that gives us those awe moments in life...Those moments that nobody can even comprehend or fathom but us alone...We hunker up under these shells ( of life ) that we find to conceal us and protect us and keep us safe in this world we call home as the rest of civilization keeps moving forward, which by the way is what we also want to do....Just thinking out loud I guess, Its time to wake up, take my morning shower, clean house and put on my happy face so that when everyone sees me they have no clue what I am going through...Do they care anyway?

Another one of my creations with paper